The Black Sheep

The so-called black sheep of the family are, in fact, hunters born of paths of liberation into the family tree.

The members of a tree who do not conform to the norms or traditions of the family system, those who since childhood have constantly sought to revolutionise beliefs, going against the paths marked by family traditions, those criticised, judged and even rejected, these are usually called to free the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations.

The black sheep, those who do not adapt, those who cry rebelliously, play a basic role within each family system, they repair, pick up and create new and unfold branches in the family tree.

Thanks to these members, our trees renew their roots. Its rebellion is fertile soil, its madness is water that nourishes, its stubbornness is new air, its passion is fire that re-ignites the light of the heart of the ancestors.

Uncountable repressed desires, unfulfilled dreams, the frustrated talents of our ancestors are manifested in the rebelliousness of these black sheep seeking fulfilment. The genealogical tree, by inertia will want to continue to maintain the castrating and toxic course of its trunk, which makes the task of our sheep a difficult and conflicting work.

However, who would bring new flowers to our tree if it were not for them? Who would create new branches? Without them, the unfulfilled dreams of those who supported the tree generations ago would die buried beneath their own roots.

Let no one cause you to doubt, take care of your rarity as the most precious flower of your tree.

You are the dream of all your ancestors.

- Bert Hellinger

Days Like These

On days like these, I start with a good plan for what I want to try, experiment with, etc., and some components do not work.

I set out to try out some of the Paper Lab exercises from the first week. I had assembled nearly all the materials, etc., but I knew the food processor was not ideal. I thought it was good enough for the first experiments. However, it doesn't work. Some components are missing! So, I could not even make the first batch of paper pulp. I am hanging on for an eBay auction but will not get that until at least midweek when it will be too late.

An alternative is to take the first-stage pulp preparation home and try it out with a hand blender to see whether it is good enough at this stage. Frustrating!

Working on a number of ideas alongside each other:-

Paper Lab

Haberdas

Fine Art Prints

Catlinesque pieces

Jesmonite/resin casting

To some extent, they are on hold waiting for materials, equipment (screen calibration tool), training (Mattie Jesmonite et al.), and sometimes just inspiration. At the moment, Haberdas is simply an idea for which there is no focus and no spark.

Art & Fear

I just finished skimming Art & Fear and was expecting answers, thinking this was some self-help book. But inevitably, there are none.

It summarises that we each have certain issues, stories, and obsessions that we seek to elucidate through our work. This does not change over time; we are who we are, and the questions need to be answered or investigated to the extent of our curiosity through the work.

So, what are my questions, stories, and obsessions?

1. Being female in a world and family that does not value femaleness in ways that validate/d me as an individual.

2. I had interests that were not of value to those around me, yet I was curious over decades to revisit them again and again.

3. Learning obsession

4. The way objects evoke memory, emotions, time and state of being.

5. The ambiguity of communication through objects and ideas.

6. I am desperate to be in the box and trying to fit in whilst ultimately knowing I am happier outside the box (for box read traditional roles, conventions, etc.).

7. The deep love of process and the challenge of materials

8. The wish to subvert the conventional.

9. Variety is not a straight-line approach. Variousness is the essence of life and change. Change is inevitable.

What I love:-

1. The Fabric Obsession Hotline sums it up.

2. But the same goes for many categories of objects, which I have unfortunately curbed because of my upbringing.

3. I have discarded as many inspirations as I have retained. It's only the tip of the iceberg that I still possess.

4. The categories seem random, but perhaps they aren't:-

   1. Things from the natural world, bones, skeletons, shells, rocks, natural growing things,

   2. Materials which could be of use in a huge variety

   3. Fabrics and fabric remnants which mostly evoke memory or emotion

   4. Detritus from the beach, haphazard findings

   5. Books of huge variety and interest

   6. Clothes - I love the structure, the make and the worn

   7. Components of craft, trade

   8. Small items with immense value to me - the fossil rock

   9. Second-hand items - used have had a past-life

   10. Retro/vintage items